Riding as an adult
I don’t know about you but as an adult rider I am significantly more aware of my mortality and the potential for a situation to go awry. I can find myself second guessing the environment, the weather, any variability that has the potential to make my horse less predictable and put me at risk of falling off.
I’m more hyper aware of my responsibilities. I can’t afford to be injured. Who will cook the meals? Clean the house? Look after my boy and the fur family? Not to mention we can’t afford me to be out of work for any extended period of time. So when it comes to riding and taking my horse out, it can be easy to let my brain get carried away and show me every worse case scenario.
There is a naivety when you’re a kid of how badly things can go. You can be far more gun ho when you are ignorant to the consequences. Not to mention the horses are smaller so there’s not so far to fall.
And if your anything like me the years of falls are starting to catch up with you. My crush foot injury means I don’t dismount as gracefully as I used to. My old back injuries often sees me squatting in between lessons trying to give it a break and a stretch and my neck injury means some days I can’t think straight. So I kind of, really don’t want to add to the list with a fresh fall!
But I wouldn’t do anything else with my time (what small amount I do have). So I have to find a way I can show up for my horse and be the rider he needs me to be. Some days I struggle and think he needs some one better than me. Other days where I barely fit a hello in, I feel he is going to waste. But most of the time I know in my heart that I couldn’t be without him and I’m doing my best for him.
So I focus on our relationship. Unfortunately I can’t put him at the top of my list of priorities (I have a house to run and a new baby that demands my full attention). So I can’t expect him to do because I say so if I’m not showing up for him consistently. But when I can make learning and training fun and our time together enjoyable, I can still have horses in my life without feeling the endless guilt that your horse deserves better.
Katie Boniface from https://www.equestrianmovement.com/